💛 Everyone deserves to be happy. Guilt free. Yes, even you. 💛
Life’s lessons can be funny. We may not always be able to read between the lines or know what the universe’s message is trying to tell us. But the message is still there. We just have to learn how to be open to receiving it.
Guilt. The definition according to Websters Dictionary is “The fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.” Sounds extremely intense doesn’t it? Is it a crime to be happy? Is it a crime to want 5 minutes alone in the bathroom without being disrupted, or to want a night out with friends or your significant other? Of course not. So why do we feel the intensity of this guilt far more often than we should? Why does guilt like to pop its ugly head in right when we are about to do something for ourselves? We have been conditioned all wrong for far too long.
Something that I have started to come to terms with is no one around me will be happy until I am happy. I am a better mother when I am recharged, well nourished, and taking care of myself. I am a better mother with endless patience and grace when I have done somethings for myself. Things like a good run, a simple project or craft, reading my favorite book, and my all time favorite a great date night with my significant other. I always feel reconnected, grounded, and recharged to take on the day. When mama is good we are all good. Why is it that we as mothers always put ourselves last? I am naturally a very selfless person, so it is very hard for me to put myself ahead of anyone or anything. But that needed to change. It doesn’t make me a bad mother to be happy and healthy and do things for myself. In fact it makes me a better mother.
I remember being on a plane last year during our annual family trip to Florida, when something really stuck with me from that day on the plane. When the flight attendant was giving the safety lesson before our flight she mentioned about the oxygen. She showed us how to put the mask on in case of an emergency and stated how important it was to put your mask on first before anyone else’s. I instantly thought to myself “yeah, ok lady. Definitely putting the kids on first. Next! Of course naturally, that was first first thought. But it was in that moment that it occurred to me my backwards way of thinking. It was then I had this realization. If i don’t have on my oxygen mask and I couldn’t breathe then how would I be be able to help my children with their masks or anyone else around me? This is when I had an AH- HA moment. It’s not selfish to put my mask on first. It is necessary to put my mask on first. If I am well, I can help my children be well, and anyone else around me. This is a metaphor that will stay with me forever.
It is so important for us to take care of ourselves, so we can take care of those around us to the best of our ability. You mean I can do things for myself guilt free?? Hallelujah, Amen!
This also goes back to us being kind to ourselves. It is so easy to be unkind to ourselves with all the pressure of social media, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tik-Tok, its overwhelming! There is so much to live up to. It’s exhausting. Sometimes all we need to do is unplug. Take a nice warm bath, put on a face mask, read a book, pour a glass of wine, and breathe. Give yourself one hour guilt free. See how much better you will feel pulling out a game board, reading a story, or getting on the floor and playing hide and seek with the kiddos. You will be amazed at how empowered and gratifying it feels to do a little something for you.
Write a letter to your old two faced friend guilt, and tell that guilt right off! make sure you tell that guilt why you don’t deserve it to haunt you any longer. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. To bad, so sad! Guilt, you are no longer welcome!